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Saturday, 13 November 2010

How do you deal with a bully?

This time I am going to post a blog without photos. Instead it will be a rant about how rude people can be. Last Friday, I was in a supermarket with my friend Jo. We had to buy five bowls of instant noodles (we were not hungry, it was for work, I swear).
 We lined up at the Express Counter when suddenly an elderly lady walked up and without remorse, stood in front of us. At first, Jo and I looked at each other and for that brief moment, we considered the fact that maybe she did not see us lining up.
 But then she turned around and gave us a righteous look like we were supposed to cut her some slack for being an elderly lady. We were absolutely dumbfounded. What do you say to an elderly lady who cut your queue?
The next day I was out for late supper with Aaron. I had a bad feeling the moment we walked through the front door. The lady manager gave me a dirty look like as if our youthful appearance meant we could not afford their menu.
We sat at an end table as it was the only one available in the entire establishment. Unfortunately the table was in the way of the staff coming in and out of the kitchen. I had no qualms with sitting there but obviously it was rather annoying to the staff, having to move us aside every time. 
While we were eating, the manager walks up to us, and with an irritated tone, tells us to move to another table that had opened up. She had the cheek to tell us that our seating position was annoying. 
Due to her insensitivity and lack of humility, we refused to move. She rolled her eyes and walked away. Another waiter then came up to us and apologized on her behalf. 
My question is this, why put a table there in the first place? And why apologize on your manager's behalf? Sadly in both situations, I kept my mouth shut, not knowing how to open my mouth without causing a scene.
How do you deal with bullies? Please leave your comments below.


  1. We need to teach them sometimes otherwise they are always thinking they are in a right place,Yes people always judged a person at the first sight unless we show them our big wallet.

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  3. OMG!!So that is why u were upset the other day. I do wonder why do they even put the table there if its blocking the way. Don't expect the customer know how things work in your restaurant. Moreover, Manager should apologize for the employee behalf, not the other way around. If I'm in your shoe, i will just finish my meal, pay just the food without any service tax. Take down the name of the manager, write a very nice comment to newspaper. That will teach them a lesson. This kind of people don't deserve to be paid for their service.

  4. We meet these type of people everyday, everywhere. Then you need to think to yourself what is your limit of patience & consideration. For the elderly lady case, next time, just tell her politely (Mak cik, boleh tlg beratur?). Just make a dumb face & look at her. If her reaction is defensive, then show her the line behind. As for the table issue, I agree with you. Y put the table there in the first place? But, next time just don't eat at a place which is already very crowded unless you have no choice. U know, the lady manager there is still ok that she's still talking to you. Some will just ignore you if they think that you cannot afford it. They won't even give you the menu. She might just be having a tough time that night since it was so crowded.

  5. I hate when ppl cut my line.
    but yeah, the best I can do is just give him/her the annoyed look till they feel the guilt themselves.
    better thing to do is like Josephine said.just tell 'em straight in the face.

    yeah, wanna ask the same Q. why they put the table in the 1st place. plus, if we can't afford the food there, why we bother to come in in the 1st place? really sick with this such narrow minded ppl.

  6. i would keep my mouth shut too.

  7. You should express your feeling towards words. You have to say it in polite way but tell him/her that he/she was doing wrong!!!

  8. i feel its pointless to tell or express to them.
    it's not gonna change anything anyway...
    i'll probably whine to my gfs la haha.

  9. hmm, kind of bad experiance i thought..well everyone facing this problem nowadays..so many are proud to be a "bully" rather than be a polite, humble etc..watever..
    i think it's good for us to stay back n not responding to that sicky situation but however some will obviously said we are coward,speechless and "chicken"..

    well nadia, neither me know what to do, how to react n waht to say... :(

  10. Same with me Nadia.. I also will do nothing if I was in ur place. Tapi time tu mesti maki2 dgn kwn (Klu time tu ada) pasal perangai org tu. Tapi tak berani nk cakap depan2 dia. - -"

  11. In the words of my Adam Lambert and others as well, It gets better ;)

  12. If I were U, i'll say "what u staring at?"...c'mon, these kind of people should be given a lesson, don't they? once or twice, maybe you should stay cool, but that supper incident, now that's just nasty...I could slap that manager, anytime~

  13. I've encountered the elderly que incident. Normally, I'd be staring at her back. Tapi, if she realize and says sorry, I'll back off. If she's "high-mighty", I'd just politely say, "makcik, (that itself will annoy her) tolong beratur belakang boleh? Kami pun beratur and nak cepat ni... (even if you're NOT in a hurry).

    The lady manager, I'd give her a piece of my mind there and then. "You had this table available HERE. So, we sat here. WHY would you be putting it here...or why would your nice establishment put a table here if it's not strategic for patrons to have their dinner here? Second, if we were some BIG SHOT, would you be asking me to move like how you are asking me to move now? You are in a serving industry... learn a little courtesy, will ya?? It only takes ONE customer to bring the whole establishment down, k? You wouldn't want that right?"

    OR... if she's not that high of rank, just tell her to get her higher ranking officer and tell that person what I said above.

    I was quite a quiet person. Like you. Tapi, you can be patient only for too long.

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  15. gf!~

    i can't believe got such amnager nowdays. I would have opened my mouth to her. too bad la.. i don't mind causing a scene if she was that rude and showed some face at me..lagi i marah dia buat mcm tu. I would straight away get her name..and call her boss..ahha!

    no remorse feeling needed for this. I dah banyak kali sound org yang tak professional,especially customer service/waiters/managers... whoever la. we the CUSTOMERS are always right...

    if you don't like it..don't work in the industry where u meet a lot of ppl..haha..fullstop! :) :) boycott restaurant tu gf..jgn pegi dah~


  16. i had a few of those things u encountered before.. so here's my story..
    1. lining up for bus..
    it was during my study years.. i think it was 1995.. ages ago.. u do know that people LOVES to push n shove to get into the bus.. it's like a religion to them.. pffft! the first thing i did when i got infront of the bus door was swear.. LOL! i figured they wont listen if i said it nicely.. "P*****K korang.. dah tua2 xtau nk beratur ke? budak2 korang soh bratur.. korang sendri xnk.. apasal prangai korang mcm S**L sgt??" n amazingly.. they all did line up.. n i had fun swearing.. LOL!

    2. lining up for paying for grocery
    well.. it's a similar situation with u.. some expressionless old hag cut the queue infront of me.. i wanted to swear but since she is really older than me.. i just spoke to here softly n nicely, with a smile on my face.. "aunty.. seme org bratur.. sy x kira auntie lg tua dr sy.. jgn kuang ajo (with a really big smile) n potong line.. seme org nk bayo, bkn auntie sorang je.." n she went to the back of the line..

    i think the moral of the story is.. as we get older.. our brain loss the information stored abt lining up.. *sigh*